You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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