Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Vodka?
Forever.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
