What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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