Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
