Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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