College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
