Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
