Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
either way he was missing a nipple.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
They have beer where we have blood.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
