if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
