And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
