I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
