I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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