Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you win again, gameday.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You need Xanax blowdarts
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
