I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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