what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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