The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
