let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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