So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
