i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize