the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
