Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
