Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
