The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
