Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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