please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
