I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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