The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
