you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
