I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
