that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
