I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
