its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
