There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
