there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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