i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
is wine microwaveable?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
