I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
