just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
