Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
