Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
