I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Randomize
