Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
