WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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