well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
