hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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