p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I intend to get homeless drunk
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
