I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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