I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
