took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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