Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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