I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
