oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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