He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
