A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
